Wouldn't It Be Cool

Hey. You look nice today. You did something with your hair, right? Totally works.

I've been thinking about making some changes, too. Like I finally started a diet, so if you do fall in love with me, you don't have to worry about being with some fat pig. I haven't had pizza in a few days (that mozzarella patch seems to be working) and I'm down to a pack a week of my beloved M&M's. I'm really gonna try to stick with it this time and I'm usually successful when I finally make up my mind to do something, although it usually takes a while before I can make up my mind, which is part of my boyish charm. Was that another smile?

When I say "boyish" what I really mean is "man-ish," which sounds kinda gay, which I'm not although I have pretty gay taste in a whole mess of things. On the other hand, I love pussy and firmly believe that that's what separates the men from the other men who don't. And yes, it occurred to me that if I want you to fall in love here, perhaps I shouldn't throw around "pussy" all that much (who do I think I am, Sarah Silverman?) but then I thought wouldn't it be cool if you didn't mind me flinging it all willy-nilly, if you might even like that I do?

Not including Sarah S. (who I am so over), do you exist? And do you have a nice pussy? I can make that joke because I know you wouldn't mind.