My Worst Nightmare

Every time I think my older son has hit rock bottom, a trap door opens and we all go sliding deeper down the chute. All the experts, including my wife, insist that reaching this low point is critically necessary in order for my son to finally understand that there are consequences to his foolish actions.

So we need to sit tight (as if there's any other way), do nothing and let nature (rather than nurture) take its course. Because if we continue to intervene, if I continue to try and save him, how will he even know that he's being saved? I believe the AA affirmation for this is "Let go and let God" and I think you know how much I struggle with both of those things.

I totally get why we need to get there, but it scares the shit out of me because it's also my worst nightmare. I've long had these recurring dreams where horrible shit happens -- someone (it's usually my wife or kids, although one time it was Jennifer Aniston) is about to be shot or stabbed or crash into another car -- and I can't do anything about any of it because I'm completely paralyzed (and in most of these, my teeth are also crumbling) and all I can do is watch until I'm jarred awake.

Well, I'm good and jarred right now and all I can do is watch and it's a living nightmare.