Heartbeats

My wife can always tell when my older son is not himself. She can feel it in a heartbeat, albeit a skipped one. He'll come downstairs to the kitchen and she'll know there's something up just by the way he reaches for the Captain Crunch.

Nine times out of ten, that something is a fight with Jenna, his girlfriend. In fact, most of his problems involve women and you don't have to be a brain surgeon to figure out that it all stems from being adopted and feeling abandoned, which in turn fuels a desperate need for connection. Unfortunately, when that connection is broken, so is he.

And that's the way he was walking around all weekend long, although he was less angry than he's been in the past and maybe that was the meds working, I really don't know. I really don't know anything, although when I got into work this morning, I saw the following on his Away Message:

i'm sorry tonight was really messed up. ive just been holding back for the past two weeks n it all came out at once. i really do love u n would do anything 4 u. ull c how much i can do for u. im sorry i didnt say sweet things to u b 4 u went to sleep n now i regret it.

At the end was an emoticon of a heart, which made mine skip a beat.