I was driving home yesterday afternoon and my head was swimming in the sad French film I had just seen (Kristin Scott Thomas is devastating in it). And after a long train of thought, I spoke the following words out loud:
"Boy, did I fuck up!"
I was more surprised that I had actually said these words aloud than the words themselves. The voices in my head usually stay there, especially when I'm by myself. The movie got me thinking about all of the mistakes I've made in my life and how things could've turned out differently.
Specifically, I kept thinking about what would've happened if I hadn't married my wife. Would I have been happier? Would I have been more successful? What type of woman would I be with today? Where would I be living? Would I have done all of the things that I've always wanted to do? Would I feel any more fulfilled?
All of this foolishness stopped when my phone rang. It was my oldest son.
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